arrrgh. busy with nothing and absolutely everything. raining now, and im thinking about alotta things.. so much so that it hurts my head..
memories of things that happened in the rain... the love that was once there... events that transpired... the nice breezes when it rains... the coolness and the touch of water on my face.. brings back so many memories..
many things have happened in the past days... stuff like... birthdays, timeouts, work... and lots of self searching and thoughts.
gotta apply for the o lvl again. i didnt make it for maths... its depressing. like wad someone said, " i dont see anyone of YOUR age taking o's anymore"...... i know... but... arrgh. and it certainly dont help at all with you being like this. i can live without the parry and thrusts that we take @ each other, but its taking its toll. i kinda feel uncomfortable amongst u guys now. like some sort of... ooutcast.
then theres work... yeah yeah i know i know... my attitude towards work has taken a turn for the worse... depression, withdrawal, the non willingness to speak to others and talk... the heavy workloads.. the people stress... is something i dont wanna go into detail anymore. it seems that i always bitch and bitch about things that i dont like... its kinda sad. as for training n jogging today.... i hope the rain stops....
i dont know... just feels that something is missing... life is dull now... for some reason. there is the memory block, the weariness, and the part of me that is so disgusted with myself. i've been backstabbing people... playing one part against the other, with a smiling face.. causing tensions to rise, conflicts to remain unresolved n such.... i know it... and i still do it... why? its not like i will gain anything out of it... and i also know abt the falseness of people.... im not naive anymore you know.. and its so tiring... i know everyone feels tired too... so... i cant worry others, and i always worry abt others.. gotta always stay happy... to cheer others up...
also... something has been bugging me recently... i wonder.. how do others see me? not that i really care... but i just want to know what kinda impression i give others... and what others think of me...
lastly... happy bithday to the peeps havin their b/d soon... YS hope ur happy with ur prezzie... we woke up from 7am just to queue for it... u better bloody appreciate it... hahaha!!
thought of the day: little invaders from other planets are cute =3
