well.. i guess its come to this. my days are kinda busy... and tiring... mondays schedule is school, gym, then work. tues is school, gym, then swimming. wed is full day working, thurs is identical to tuesday, friday is identical to monday. sat and sun shld be rest, but i wanna look for desmond to go running with me... at night... for night jogs around the estate...
also.. back to playing RO, but... the patch takes so long to patch! also... it keeps FAILING, so when it screws up.. i have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN.so pissed and angry. cant they like put the patches in stages and when u download it, it saves? also, why does the file keep failing? gravity needs a MAJOR revampin tactics. ARRGH. been doing the patching since last night... but dammit... still no avail. FMP has been downloaded... and damn man.. the anime is nice... getting TSR now...
jas is coming back today... i wonder how her tRip has been? i cant be there to pick her up today, but the least i can do is get some anime for her to watch... haha im sure she misses civilization. she'll be thrilled with all da new anime for her to watch. hahaha. jerms and mom seem so happy today... they must all really miss her...
sch, on another note, is kinda like... having a flow. theres its up's and downs, some good and some bad... this n that... here and there... nothing much that people dont expect. nothing that i have not anticipated. but then... haiz... i... feel bad inside for someone... wonderin hows she doing.. since i know she has trouble socilising with people... but.... i wonder if its best if i dont contact her? i might end up bugging her and being an irritant. haiz. hey but damn! her msn pic looks so pretty... hahaha... in fact.. someone in class has a real pretty msn display pic too man.. and when she signs in.... i think my heart skips a beat. to qoute some person in my class "i think im in loveee" cuts it real well.
andrew called dis morning... ask me out.. but couldnt... haiz... the bros asked me out too... but.. also... received a call from someone unexpected... in the end, i was just tryin to cut the conversation short. hahaha... recently got to know a girl, but hot damn. she lives the high life. hahaha.... shes arrogant, snotty, proud and overly ricH, and sometimes she says things i dont really want to hear, but... she reminds me of me... from a long time ago.. and i think back... hey... i was like that too... over protected, bratty and all that... and now that i think back abt it... i shld talk to her more... try n change that way of her... make her a better person. hahaha. i now know how i was in the past. in fact, sometimes i still show bad habits like that... i guess... old habits die hard. sorry guys...sorry brothers, sorry to all the peeps i know in the past... i now know how bad i truly was... and thank you... to the people who still stuck by me... and accepted me for who i am. derrick, the guy who took angelia away from me once said too... you have good brothers, brothers i want, but nv had. but u know what man? you killed me the day u took angelia. and im still recovering. to me.... i still feel... dead. empty inside... i want to be stronger, much more so... i want to look good, dress well, and improve myself into what i nv thought i could be. i'll show the ones around me how i can really be.. and i'll make u regret angelia. but mostly... i m doing it for myself.. or something like that. that was my thinking in the past. but... things change now... i wonder though... its been.. almost 3 years... have i really gotten over you? girl? the only one i have loved so much... the one that hurt me beyond mortal pain... the one that made me suffer like this... im scared to really love again... and its holding me back from doing the things i wanna do... things i wanna feel....
the pain still lingers....
but i can say for certain now. i have gotten over you, angelia. i regret that the relationship didnt last, but if it did, i would not be like this now. i am happy the way i am now.. and i know... that since you are happy... i shld let go too. i nv hated you, but thankful for this instead. you... made me a better person. but i will always cherish the memories we had girl... and... you will nv be replaced.. i wish you happiness, though u will nv hear me say it out loud... u already know girl, im bad with words i really mean from my heart.. and can nv say wad i really feel inside, to friends.. family even. i'll just wish sincerely... that you will always be happy.. and for me, i guess i'll look for a new fresh life to begin with. u know... i'll nv forget this week. this week... is a totally new start in my life.
At Long Last, Im Free
