dammit. low on cash. so many things to buy, so little cash... going to have a feast with the bros on sat... dammit.. there goes my training... haha... even so... things have been kinda quiet all over..
work is awkward now... with the cold wars n such... haiz politics... i have to say.. all this came about just by a simple misunderstanding...and the childishness of both parties. no idea what will happen. ahhhh couldnt care less.
spent last week @ the cheveron... the clubhouse of the army warrant officers... my god. there was such a long line of people just standing around, doing no shit, just to buy some shoes. then, theres also discrimination against civillians... dammit.. a beer there costs $1.85 for NS men, and $3.85 for me. omfg. DISCRIMINATION!!! also.. went there for YS cousins BBQ... but u know what? spent the whole fuckin time BBQ'in for the people staying in the chalet... and #@$%^&* they treated us like dogs. BBQ this for us BBQ that for us... ordering us around like..... ARGH! first time i went to a party and helped to do all the shit.
sunday was spent swimming... haiz... im still stuck @ the balance... i cant seem to lose weight past a certain mark? BUT HELL NO. i WILL lose it. i will reduce my weight to > or = t0 70kg.
u know... i find my life quite boring. true, i go out, i chill, i shop and talk cock alot... but.. something is missing... and i think i know what it is man...its someone i can really talk to.. and i dunno... maybe fear in me? or something like that. fear of being betrayed, cheated... and the feeling of loss... actually... i think i have not really lived.. since 2 years ago... some part of me just died... perhaps this is a psycological problem? should i get help? its this feeling inside that prevents me from making new female friends... and i can never look straight into their eyes... i feel so... sucky...
oooh yea.. cancel the belt and zippo lighter from my previous list of stuff... i thought i didnt really need the belt.. since no one knows if ur wearing a good one.. and someone already got the zippo for me. =P
