thursday already..... 0.o in a few more days itsback to dear ol' RP. glad that i can get my ass back to class, been stoning and slacking for so long i have almost forgot how to study. wonders who will be in my new class... and i need to reformat lappy... lol. gunna give da rest of the peeps a very bad impression. Lol
been feeling down recently... maybe its the lack of sleep... or im just thinkin about all my probs... haiz... been really tough... i dun think its worth it anymore... why? i used to love it alot... i wanted to hold on to it... i didnt wanna let go... but... is it for real? is this an illusion? everytime u get close... i wanna crY... coz i know ur only almost here... not really here... not really there... =(
wishing things were easier is not gunna happen too... haiz... recently... everything has been a mess. its terrible. i admit, im confused and dont know what to do... i have been down for a long time already... have u noticed? do u even care?
why? why am i suffering in silence like this...? its pointless rite? u know how i feel... but u dont care... im hurt... scared, like a lil kid... i havent felt anything like this before, when ur here... i cant breathe... i cant talk... i get scared... really scared... so much as its to the point that i'd rather run away....im scarred too. scarred by previous relationships... hurt beyond belief... sometimes i just wanna cut my heart out so i wont feel as terrible... physical pain is nothing to emotional hurt...
i always wanted to die young... but im not a fatalist, just a realist... i have tried my best to be there for u... and this is not an excuse... i just hope u know and understand...
i have said my peice... the rest is up to u girl... thats all i can do now... wait.... like i always have been... waiting for u...
