ok, its monday. what can i say? im tired, just woke up, and not going to work today. gunna get boring too. people from my workplace are leaving... some real good friends... haiz.. and sick and tired of saying goodbye... in SR working for 4 years already, and i see so many people come and go... and i miss em alot..
in need of cash, rest, and things to save me from boredom. doing nothing, just slacking and wishing i got more cash to buy bd prezzies... dammit, i feel so small and useless now. i dont even know what is going through my mind.
yesterday went to sembawang playground to sit and think things through, was kinda good... until a group of muds just came and sat down nx to me and they were like... arrgh so rude. i wish they could all be dragged to the streets and shot. what... they own the world? they think they are so powerful in their groups and what not, wearing the hats, caps like theY are some sort of king, lookin so proud... they wont last 5 mins in the real world.
sometimes i feel pity for people like them, eg: ah bengs and such.
they just will not survive the cycles of life, and they will pass this attitude to their kids in the future... continuing the cycle. what a waste. they could have been good people.
then...i think... what does it truly take to last in the real world? certifications? paper qualifications? what happened to good ol' skills and bonds? last time, u just had to work hard, and u would enjoy the fruits of your labour... now, the policy is work smart, not work hard, and i have seen many examples of that.... like one aunt, how has enough money to buy her own helicopter. or, another cousin who drives a BMW at 20+, all through his own smart work. or a friend, who, at 30, has her own advertising firm.
i wonder, if i can make the mark of the future like they have, to so boldly step to the future and shape it to their will.
lol. if u notice, most of my blogs are thoughts and ideas, mostly serious ones... with friends, i can joke and crap.. but up there is all on "work in progress"
sometimes i wish i had a normal upbringing... hey for all you know, i might have been an ah beng lol. im lazy, but i can get things done if i want to, im ignorant, coz imconfident in my knowledge. im arrogant, because i see things in a light no one else does. im cold, because i dont know how to socialise. im proud, coz i have every reason to be. im calm, because i know what i want in the future. goodness.... i wonder who else thinks like me. if there is someone like that, i wanna meet u plsss!!
friends... sometimes... i wonder what they are really for..
family.. what is their true call?
love.. is it necessary?
sometimes... what my mom says is right too... i have alot of feelings in me that i should not have....
hatred, against my father
anger against anyone who hurts my family
frustration when my friends get hurt
cunningness and backstabbing to get what i want
the ability to lie, and lie well, when i want to get out of trouble
haiz... i guess... are all humans like that? why? i need answers.....
